Why Living Your Life is More Important than Looking Like You Do

I have seen all these amazing blog posts about things women have in their bag and special products that they love and I think wouldn’t it be nice to have that kind of life?  I’m sitting here in yoga pants (I didn’t do yoga), my hair in a messy bun (because I didn’t feel like dealing with it) and no make-up (cause no one cares). I have a roast in the crockpot, I burned my mouth when drinking my tea (cause I gave up Coke), and the dog threw up on my foot a little while ago. That about sums up how my day is going so far.

I decided, just this past week, to have a garage sale this coming weekend and now I am wondering what the hell I was thinking?  I’m pretty sure I know what happened though, I looked around at my messy, disorganized, and slightly outdated house and thought I need a change.

So I started immediately pulling decor off walls and shelves and announced to everyone that we will be having a garage sale. Accustomed to my antics, my husband agreed to go along with the plan and now our porch and dining room are completely overrun with garage sale items. I don’t feel better ye

What I don’t understand is how I can spend such a large portion of my time and energy cleaning and organizing for our house to always look like we just had a frat party?

I am a staunch believer in not comparing myself to other women, but I find myself doing just that. When I see a Victoria Secret model I think she is beautiful and that she must be really disciplined to look like that.  It doesn’t bother me. Apparently, what does bother me is when another mom has an immaculately clean house, vehicle, and her kids always look so tidy. Then the mom always looks put together when they go out and she has a schedule where she is volunteering at the school and knows everyone.

Why is this bothering me? Why can I not get past it? I know that there are often hidden sides to people and just because they appear to have their life together doesn’t mean they do.

My husband tells me that people that have immaculate houses must not live in them.  Of course, they live in them but he thinks they aren’t enjoying life in them. I’m not sure, I hate to make assumptions about people, but I wonder if he is on to something.

Our kitchen table has belonged to my 8-year-old daughter for most of her life. If she wants to do a craft or make slime she knows she has to do it at that table and she loves it.  She even points out certain paint stains or scratches on it and reminisces about what she did to make them. There is glitter on the floor and little splatters of paint on the wall nearby, it’s a mess, and yet it is a treasure.

Someday, I know we will paint the walls and replace the table and my heart may break a little. Would I really want to trade any of those memories for cleanliness? No, I never would.

I think most moms have a constant nagging in their heads that makes us question whether we are doing things right or if we are good enough. We spend our time comparing ourselves to other moms and waiting for some sort of validation of our maternal skills. Everyone is so ready to critique one another that we forget this isn’t a competition.

Are your kids happy and well cared for?  Then you are winning!

The other stuff doesn’t matter in the long run. Your kids won’t remember that your closet was a mess or that your curtains were faded, but they will remember how you made them feel loved and cherished. So I may have to brush the dog hair off the bottom of my feet and move the mountains of unfolded laundry to the bedroom when we have unexpected guests, but I wouldn’t trade the LIVING we do in this house for anything.

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